dear school,

i used to like you..
you know, back when all the classes were easy and i was actually smart in them.
but now that i can't do anything right,
and i don't know how to study anymore,
and i fail tests in ap us,
i hate you.

you're no fun.
the only pleasure i get is talking to my friends..
and sometimes, even that isn't too pleasureful <--is that a word?

i want you to be over.

God is so evident here.

this weekend was the best weekend of my life.
well..one of them..the other being a year ago at windy gap.
this weekend, i went to rockbridge
and i had the time of my life with the most amazing gorup of people i know.
i got so close to these people, and some of them i never thought i'd ever even talk to.

younglife camp is different from any other christian camp i'll ever go to.
it's a place where you can see Jesus in every single person around you, yet religion isn't pushed in your face.
twice a day, i was in a huge room with 400 teenagers, all singing..shouting to God, all praying together

last night, i got "the gift of younglife camp"
i laid in a field by myself, in the pitch blackness, surrounded by mountains, underneath a blanket of stars
the only sound was crickets and crying.
i laid there thinking,
why is it that when i go to places like this, i act the way God wants me to and a month later, i lose all of that? why am i such a sinner? how can God love me for the person that i am? why can't i be the way he wants me to be?
Miraculously, an hour later at club, the speaker gave me the exact answers i needed.
"right now you may be thinking that when you go back home, you're going to be a better person. you may be thinking that you're going to stop doing all the things that you do that make you feel bad, or that make you feel guilty. but really, you don't need to. all you need is a relationship with God. if you create a relationship with him, you'll be more and more like him."
God spoke to me last night and it was absolutely amazing.

everyone makes mistakes, and everyone sins.
a relationship with God is what i need, and what i'm going to create.
nothing can stop me now.
even though i'm no longer like the beautiful slab of granite and more like the gravel that it turned into, my relationship with God starts now, and will last forever.

thank you younglife.

thank you best friend.

thank you new friends.

thank you rockbridge.

thank you God.

"i could spend my whole life right here"

this past weekend, our church went on our annual youth retreat to a beautiful place called Laurel Ridge.
this place is my home for a week every summer when we go to mission camp, and i can honestly say that whenever i'm there, i think to myself, "i could spend my whole life right here"
laurel ridge has impacted me in ways that i didn't even know were possible.
god works so many miracles and wonders on that mountain.
the drive up the moutain on all the curvy roads is amazing.
the view is amazing.
sleeping in the big cabin with everyone with a fire because it's so cold is amazing.
the cold in itself is amazing.
the colors of the trees are amazing.
walking up to the top of the mountain to the overlooks is amazing.
my youth group is amazing.
my whole entire weekend was absolutely amazing.
i wouldn't trade last weekend for anything.

2 more days until Rockbridge.
Another life changing weekend

busy bee.

i have a ton on my plate right now.

cheerleading.
ap us project.
ap us reading.
spanish 3 project.
3 yearbook spreads.
kutless concert at the fair.
church youth retreat.
tests in all classes next week.
rockbridge next weekend.

my life is like a rollercoaster that's constantly moving.
there are so many ups and downs to everything it's crazy.
i have no idea how i'm going to make it out of junior year alive.
lord help me.